Sentiments of Moonlight Butterfly

well.. it's been a while since i wrote about something.. how i feel... it's raining hard last night, the power's off.. and i couldn't do anything hahah.. it's still raining now but there's no more floods and the power's back.... but i'm still bored..stuck in front of my pc..literally wasting time. well, not really.. i'm trying to reflect on things.. about my life... now i just turned 22, my life just suddenly turned all upside down.. like i don't know myself anymore..

well,, it started when my 2-year relationship ended.. just like that. really, i'm still amazed of everything that happened... back then i was always complaining of him not giving time..of not being with him..and now, that all has ended.. it just happened so fast.. everything happened so fast that it's quite inexplicable.. how anyone could forget a love like that. surprisingly i did. i moved on rather so fast and i jumped from one short-term relationship to another.. and now i wasn't so happy..

i'm tired of people who come and go... people you thought would stay..for long.. but then they'd just disappear. without prior notice. without even giving you decent explanations..  i admit, i wasn't at all hurt or shattered when my 2-year relationship ended. it was kind of a long and slow process of falling out of love...where both parties agreed. i was all the more devastated when the guy i fell in love with after disappeared just when i thought we really had it going on.. i felt left out.. i felt denied. i felt dumped. and i'm not used to being rejected. since then..i don't mind going on from one date to another... of kissing on the first date..getting intimate with an actual stranger and not keeping in touch afterwards.. but i miss him..the guy who left me. maybe because he was the one who actually left...unannounced.

"leaving someone, you have the right.. but you could have at least tell the reason why.. coz what's worse, what's even more painful.. is knowing that you don't even deserve an explanation.."