Sentiments of Moonlight Butterfly

5 years.. ..3 years that you waited.. ..2 years that we’ve been together.. It’s October 20, 2009 today… it’s supposed to be our 27th monthsary that we will celebrate together…. I hated myself. I hate myself until now… I always wanted more…not realizing that I once had the best… only to realize it all now that he already left…and now, a great part of myself was missing, and I’m afraid that I would just never be whole again…. I miss him.. I still love him.. I have always loved him. It has always been him. There was no one really. How could he know? He never listened to me. And he never listens now.. There were a lot of things that came…and grew…between us that set us apart. Things we had no power or control over. I just miss the person who made me believe in the real me.. the person who I first turn to when I want to cry… the person who I vowed to be with for the rest of my life.. I know he is happier now with someone else… he doesn’t have to tell me that.. and I can’t bear to see that… I would have fought for him… I would have done everything to set things right.. I would have done everything for my parents to really like him and fall in love with him… I would have done it all…. But what’s the use of trying when he no longer wants me…when he no longer believes in me…when every word he says now stabs me to death.. I know.. I made him that way. He was indifferent because of me. I’m letting him go.. even if I don’t really want to.. even if it means crying my heart out every night…spending all those sleepless nights watching nonsense dvd films.. or drinking and smoking.. nothing was ever worth it. I love you albert.. I always will…even if it means setting you free.. I’m giving you up..if it’s what makes you happy. .even if it means having me out of the picture.. Remember when I once told you that I’ll only leave you if I ever hear it straight from you that you no longer love me? Well… you said it last night… on our supposed to be 27th “love day”…so I guess.. goodbye…