Sentiments of Moonlight Butterfly

IM HAPPY NOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!

**well, it's been a while since I last posted in my blog, hehe.. for the record a lot of nice things happened to me these past few days and now I couldn't be more relieved. I'll go through it one by one..

Volunteer Work as a Therapist

While I'm on vacation, I was constantly checking on something productive to do until I've decided to pursue this 'volunteering' stuff as an occupational therapist in Therapy Works in Parañaque and Ables Center in Makati. On Thursdays I go to T-works where I was able to assist in a group session of toddlers for a school hardening class, and of which I was able to follow through. First, we had a bunch of school-related tasks, then we do mural paintings, dancing and cooking. So far, I can say it's a pretty nice training in preparation for internship this coming semester. I was really fuzzy about internship for reasons that: we don't know our assignment of rotations yet - whether I'd start off at Ward 5 or Ward 7 in PGH, at Clinic for Therapy Services - pedia/adult section in our school ground, or Community-based Rehabilitation at San Mateo, Rizal. And I'm not so sure whether we're going to have rotations in ELKS or PCPI and NCMH. And boy, am I not reading any of my notes! Well..not yet.=)
On Saturdays, however, I go to Ables Center in Makati to assist in the group sessions in community integration. It differs from that in T-works in that in T-works, it's more of academic and school-based stuff. Most of the kids' problems are in terms of social interaction, work behaviors (waiting in turn, paying attention etc.) so what we do is more of behavioral modifications, social skills training and working in groups. In Ables, on the other hand, our concern is more of the child's transitioning from a classroom setting to the wider community per se. It's interesting not just because we get to go to Salcedo Park, Rockwell, Manila Zoo or La Mesa Eco Park, it's interesting in the sense that, of course, children with developmental delay and behavioral problems would encounter difficulties in facing the real world outside. Our main concerns would be socialization, appropriate behaviors corresponding certain situations, safety awareness and basically, being more comfortable in engaging in activities in a variety of settings portraying consistent set of behaviors. I really really enjoy doing OT works, yeah! Hehe.. though I know, surely, it's not as easy as it looks...oh yeah, the dreaded paper works (eval, treatment plan, running notes, re-evals, progress notes, SOAP notes etc etc) and you got to have that creative mind to come up with a number of activities that would target specific skills and problem areas of a particular client! Anyways, most of the cases that I was just able to deal with during my volunteer works are Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autism, Speech delays, Global Developmental Delay, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy and some clients with poor socialization skills. ::sigh:: I wish there are also clinics or hospitals who looks for volunteers to work in a Phys-Dys or adult setting..I would want to sharpen my skills and enhance my knowledge in dealing with stroke patients, mentally-disabled, SCI patients and others. I also want to master splinting!!! Darn, I badly need to practice and practice working with thermoplastics if only given an opportunity so.

Removals, oh la la

Yay! Yay! Well, that's all that I can say about it. Hehe..though I admit, it's still traumatic for me to have gotten into the point of taking a removal exam but I was just glad that it's finally over and, I passed! ::sigh:: Now, it would no longer haunt me..gah, those sleepless nights (T_T) heheh. I'm just so happy! I feel great about it!

About my dad..

Well, relatively he's been okay these past few days. He's continuing his medications, mainly for maintenance, and he has his regular check-ups and monitoring of ECG. Although there would still be at times that he would suffer from angina, now he's more functional and a lot better than he previously was. ^_^
However, it is I who has been having problems with my health lately., I don't know, occasionally I still suffer from the consequences of my anemia. Like one time while I was riding in the bus home bound, again, I fainted. It was really embarassing but at the same time...heart-felt, to see all those people around you who are total strangers, to actually care for you a whole lot. I just can't imagine why it has to happen again..I've been consistent with taking my Iron supplements and multivitamins.. anyway, maybe I just got really tired on that day. Well, I easily get tired and I easily get dizzy or suffer from orthostatic hypotension. It's just that on that day I am damn tired. I also had a volunteer work at T-works on that day and I was literally submerged in the pool for almost a day for our aqua therapy. It's doubly tiring, you know, performing therapy, games etc on the pool..plus the pool's a little extra cozy with warm water. It's solar-heated that's why.

Love - hold no more grudges

It's one of, I think, the major highlights of my vacation tale, hehe.. People keep telling me that I had the most colorful and rollercoaster love life. Well..I couldn't agree more. My friends are actually surprised when I told them I've finally forgiven him. Knowing what he did to me, "grabe sobrang bait mo.." they'd say. Okay, so he cheated on me with two other girls which I found out only after our breakup had not the other girl sent me an email. I was hurt at first, definitely, but surprisingly, I got over it. What's more surprising is that, the other girl and I eventually got along well. I hold no grudges anymore. I've given up 'plotting for revenge' what-not. First: what's the point? Okay, so I get even, then what? Second: no matter what I do, the truth remains that...the guy whom I once loved with all my life loves somebody else now and there's nothing I could do to change that. While we were talking back then I told him, "you must have really loved her to decide to change for the better" and then he answered, "I love her". Painful, yes it is, to actually hear it straight from him. Hearing him say to me "sobrang bait mo, wala kang katulad..you deserve someone better.." - I've heard it from a lot of people already, but to actually hear him speak those words, it's different. It just feels different. But reality does hurt and I've had enough of the hurts already. And it didn't do me any good. Instead, it has transformed me into someone whom I've never known - someone dark, twisty, mean and...I was never really that mean. I'm not at all bad. And I would never want to become one any time soon or ever. My ex apologized, I forgave him. I apologized to his gf and I was hoping she'd forgive me too, for every bad thing I've said about her. I shouldn't have said those things, I mean, being hurt no matter how bad it is, still doesn't make up for an excuse to do any harm to other people. After all, she doesn't have any fault. I wanted to set things right and I know, the only way for me to feel better is to let go of the anger, to let go of the grudge. True enough, I feel much much better now. I could say, I've really accepted everything, how things are and I've finally moved on. Sabi ko nga sa ex ko, "mahalin mo yung gf mo ngaun, she's a wonderful person and you're lucky to have her..", that's the only thing he could do to finally make it up for all the hurt he has caused me. I hope he really did change now as he was telling me. Whenever I get to talk with him, or anyone connected to him, I just don't feel anything anymore...hurt, anger, sadness...all of a sudden, they are all gone. Perhaps, part of the reason is because, a lot of people is helping me to heal myself. And someone has actually helped me to feel better about myself, to feel stronger and to realize all of my mistakes. After all, I'm in the grown-ups' world now. No room for childish stuff. I have a lot of things, far more important things to focus on and accomplish. I simply have a lot of things in mind that I am wanting to do.

Now I'm out of the shell once more, this time, different, more matured.. a better person and.....happy.