I was too dumb to realize it all only now…
Instead of mourning for all the hurts it caused me, for all the pains I’ve been through… here I am, so stupid when I should have been beaming with joy after all.
I know it was almost time to move on. I was almost over him and yet…only “almost”.
But now, it’s about time for me to finally learn how to smile once more.
Why? Because now I know why it hurts this much, why it wounded this deep…and the reason for it is because…I loved almost selflessly.
Acceptance is truly a big part of moving on with your life…realizing that something had indeed went wrong and that it was about the right time for you to get back on track and live the rest of your life.
To love for the sake of being loved is human; to love for the sake of loving is pure.
And humans are naturally born to crave for attention, for love and for security…
I never thought I would love this much without ever asking for something in return. And this is what real love is…when you ignore your ego and you go where your heart longs to go. Oh yes, sometimes I hope I could just be loved back by that most special person in my life but…it’s just not worth it. And I’m tired of it…hoping and wishing…when in reality; it was all just a dream…
But instead of fighting for my own feelings…I gave way. I just let it flow…
If love is not meant to be…it never will.
The season of crying and crying and crying…is over. I’ve had enough. I’d rather laugh, though not real, at least I laugh…at least I try to. It’s one step ahead though.
Destiny may be the one which determines who enters our life…but it is the heart that decides who stays inside.
I let him rent a space in my heart and what did he do? He didn’t do an aftercare. He even messed it all up!
I’ve learned my lessons now… he’s not worth crying for anyway. My friends would even often scold me of loving toooooo muccchhhhh!!!! and otherwise ending up so torn. But, I just can’t help it! When I love, I tend to give all that I could…so that at the end, no one could ever blame me that I didn’t give enough. I let myself get hurt…I know a lot of people out there would think of it as stupidity. But you know what, those who think of it that way…probably had never really loved at all, or perhaps, never felt what real love is – the selfless love that is.
I know you’d say, “O c’mon! quit the crap! Stop this nonsensical talk. No one ever loves selflessly! That’s not even possible!”
Selfless love is not really giving your entire self…a matter of unrequited love, but letting yourself be freed from too much expectations that you will be loved back by the person whom you choose to love. That you should be loved back. Because there never really is assurance of it. Only the solace from the reality that:
Love is not because but inspite of.
If you are really meant for each other..time will come, if God permits it, no matter what happens…you’ll end up to be together! Happy in each other’s arms…
Here’s what I’ve learned in my crazy quest to find love:
1. You don’t set your standards for the ideal person whom you’re going to spend life with; your standards adjust to what qualities your significant other posses.
2. Love is blind, but more often than not do people mistake that it is “us” that are blinded…well, it’s half true. Humans are not really blind when it comes to love. They actually see the truth, the realities but they prefer not to see nor mind. Because such realities bite. But what we do not know is that the truth only hurts when you choose not to empty your heart of self-denials.
3. Small fights are healthy among couples. In that way, you know what each other think.
4. Jealousy is not even a way to show that you love a person and that you care. Well, that’s a common misconception. Jealousy, for me, is having all these “insecurities”, lack of trust and rather an act of selfishness.
5. Understanding is the main ingredient of a fruitful relationship and yet the hardest one to earn.
6. Mr./Ms. Perfect does not necessarily mean Mr./Ms. Right.
… I want to thank you…for teaching me of all the lessons I need to learn, so the next time I’ll fall in love again…it’ll be just about perfect. I love you but…goodbye. I’ll never forget though the years we’ve spent together and the moments of us that you’ve given me that I’ll surely treasure forever. I know I wouldn’t forget you…that’s not possible but, what I hope to forget is that I ever get hurt from loving so much. You’ll remain one of the sweetest pieces of puzzle completing my life…***
I was too dumb to realize it all only now…