The leaves of the trees start to shed off...
Of which will soon gather beneath the ground
The next day, it will be but skeletons in the midst of forenoon
And tomorrow still…
New leaves will sprout
Of pure green, healthy and sound. -moonlight butterfly
Letting go may sound complicated…
Yesterday, as had been my habitual custom, I’ve been in one of my favorite chat rooms in Yahoo! >>> Depressed Room, where I have already met a bunch of nice and decent online chatters whom were now my so-called “cyber friends”. A number of ‘depressed’ chatters visit our room where I am one of the “love counselors” and our last topic had been about forgetting…and the art of letting go.
Like the oldest cliché “time heals the wounds” goes…truly, it is only through time that the pain from a broken heart eventually subsides.
Just like the tree shedding off its leaves…so is forgetting someone who had once been a very special part of our lives…
Well, the difference is…
Trees have to let go of its old leaves to make way for the new ones so the trees could continue to live - they need new and healthy leaves that would manufacture its food.
The same is true with people…how can we get on with our lives if we continue to dwell on the past? Yeah, I know it’s always easier said than done but come to think of it… why can’t you let go?? What has been holding you back from moving on…?
Well, that’s the major problem among people. They’d say, “I want to forget. I want to move on…” when in reality they’re just eating everything they say! They want to move on, to get rid off the aches …but deep inside them they know that they are not willing yet to let go. They want to embrace the memories. Somehow, they hope and they long that something might still happen that could perhaps fix the problem…and that they’ll wake up someday and find everything back to normal - how it was back then.
But in many cases, it just no longer works. It’s dead end already and that you have no other choice but to forget and let go.
Love is just like a song. Now, it’s fresh, innovative…a sure fire hit! And tomorrow…it’s no longer that popular and ground-breaking as it has been. But if it’s true and sincere…it could as well be one of the reggaes that are revived and played in the radio over and over again.
As a matter of fact, forgetting is not really possible, most especially when that someone had created a mark on you, a mark that you will carry on for a lifetime. Because the truth is…you may forget the pain but never the person who caused it. For that someone had left us “distinctive” memories in a sense that…it is only with that someone that we share such precious moments, such memories that are indeed uniquely different and apart from the rest. Or you may not even forget everything but through time…eventually, it doesn’t hurt that bad anymore.
It is not the separation of you two that really hurts…it is the sudden stop of the love that you once used to share that is really devastating. Just like the breaking of your everyday routine or your habit...all of a sudden you feel clueless.
Think of it this way…
When someone left you with a scar in your heart…cry. But only for a while. Then smile after…why?
Because at least you found out too soon that he/she was not really the one for you…and that there’s someone better out there waiting for you. It may be your fault for not giving it your best shot…or it may not just worth it.
Why do the withered leaves fall down to the ground?
Sure, because of gravity you fool!
Enghkkkk!!! There is another answer to that.
Answer: Because the Lord now let them serve a different purpose for the tree – as fertilizers that will help nourish the tree. So, the old leaves didn’t leave the tree after all rather, it is one of the reasons why the tree continues to live on healthily.
So, our losses in the love arena are not s*** that only make our lives miserable. Hence, it provides us the lessons we need to learn and the foundation to support us in becoming the strong and sturdy tree that we are. So the next time we get hold of our boxing gloves, we’ll win the match! He he... We know then what and what not to do for our next relationship to be more meaningful and fruitful.
But still, we have to always bear in our minds that…to love is a challenge every one of us faces. There is no assurance of not getting hurt or a happily-ever-after ending…but learning to face the fact that the cycle of the art of letting go continues until you find that someone who is willing to stay.=)
**Sorry for quite another profound article… Argh! Boredom sure does kill me! Ha-ha! =)
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You Know You're a Filipino
You Know You're Filipino When....
Your middle name is your mother's maiden name.
Your parents call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy."
You have uncles and aunts named "Boy," "Girlie," or "Baby."
You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables like "Jun-Jun," "Ling-Ling," and "Mon-Mon." Mine by the way was "Che-Che."
You call the parents of your friends and your own parents' friends "Tito" and "Tita."
You have four or five names.
You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.
You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave the room.
You follow your parents' house rules even if you are over 18.
You live with your parents until and at times even after you're married.
You decorate your dining room wall with a picture of the "Last Supper."
You keep your furniture wrapped in plastic or covered with blankets.
You have a Sto. Nino shrine in your living room.
You have a piano that no one plays.
You keep a tabo in your bathroom.
You use Vicks Vapor rub as an insect repellant.
You eat with your hands.
You eat more than three times a day.
You think a meal is not a meal without rice.
You think sandwiches are snacks, not meals.
Your dining table has a merry-go-round (lazy Susan) in the middle.
You bring baon to work everyday.
Your pantry is never without Spam, Vienna sausage, corned beef, and sardines.
You love to eat daing or tuyo.
You prop up one knee while eating.
ou eat your meal with patis, toyo, suka, banana catsup, or bagoong.
Your tablecloths are stained with toyo circles.
You love sticky desserts and salty snacks.
You eat fried Spam and hot dogs with rice.
You eat mangoes with rice--with great GUSTO!
You love "dirty" ice cream.
You love to eat, yet often manage to stay slim.
You put hot dogs in your spaghetti.
Everything you eat is sauted in garlic, onion, and tomatoes.
You order a "soft drink" instead of soda.
You hang a rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
You get together with family at a cemetery on All Saint's Day to eat, drink, and tell stories by your loved ones' graves.
You play cards or mahjong and drink beer at funeral wakes.
You think Christmas season begins in October and ends in January.
Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
You've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity.
You collect items from airlines, hotels, and restaurants as "souvenirs."
You feel obligated to give pasalubong to all your friends and relatives each time you return from a trip.
You use paper foot outlines when buying shoes for friends and relatives.
You're a fashion victim.
You can convey 30 messages with your facial expression.
You hold your palms together in front of you and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.
You ask for the bill at a restaurant by making a rectangle in the air.
You cover your mouth when you laugh.
You respond to a "Hoy!" or a "Pssst!" in a crowd.
You'll answer "Malapit lang!"--no matter the distance--when asked how far away a place is located.
Goldilocks is more than a fairy tale character to you.
You refer to power interruptions as "brownouts."
You love to use the following acronyms: CR for comfort room, DI for dance instructor, DOM for dirty old man, TNT for tago nang tago, KJ for kill joy, KSP for kulang sa pansin, OA for over-acting, TL for true love, BF for boyfriend and GF for girlfriend.
You say "rubber shoes" instead of sneakers, "ball pen" instead of pen, "stockings" instead of pantyhose, "pampers" instead of diapers, "ref" or "prijider" instead of refrigerator, "Colgate" instead of toothpaste, "canteen" instead of cafeteria, and "open" or "close" instead of turn on or turn off (as in the lights).
You use an umbrella for shade on hot summer days.
You like everything imported or "state-side."
You love ballroom dancing, bowling, pusoy, mah jong, billiards, and karaoke.
You have a relative who is a nurse.
When you're in a restaurant, you wipe your plate and utensils before using them.
You can squeeze 15 passengers into your five seater car without a second thought.
You wave a pom-pom on a stick around the food to keep the flies away.
You always ring a doorbell twice, assuming that the first ring was not heard.
You let the phone ring twice before answering, lest you appear overly eager.
Your other piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
You use a rock to scrub yourself in the bath or shower.
You're proud to be Filapino - and you pass these jokes on to all your Filipino friends!
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Waking up into the reality...but got no shades to hide my teary eyes
I was too dumb to realize it all only now…
Instead of mourning for all the hurts it caused me, for all the pains I’ve been through… here I am, so stupid when I should have been beaming with joy after all.
I know it was almost time to move on. I was almost over him and yet…only “almost”.
But now, it’s about time for me to finally learn how to smile once more.
Why? Because now I know why it hurts this much, why it wounded this deep…and the reason for it is because…I loved almost selflessly.
Acceptance is truly a big part of moving on with your life…realizing that something had indeed went wrong and that it was about the right time for you to get back on track and live the rest of your life.
To love for the sake of being loved is human; to love for the sake of loving is pure.
And humans are naturally born to crave for attention, for love and for security…
I never thought I would love this much without ever asking for something in return. And this is what real love is…when you ignore your ego and you go where your heart longs to go. Oh yes, sometimes I hope I could just be loved back by that most special person in my life but…it’s just not worth it. And I’m tired of it…hoping and wishing…when in reality; it was all just a dream…
But instead of fighting for my own feelings…I gave way. I just let it flow…
If love is not meant to be…it never will.
The season of crying and crying and crying…is over. I’ve had enough. I’d rather laugh, though not real, at least I laugh…at least I try to. It’s one step ahead though.
Destiny may be the one which determines who enters our life…but it is the heart that decides who stays inside.
I let him rent a space in my heart and what did he do? He didn’t do an aftercare. He even messed it all up!
I’ve learned my lessons now… he’s not worth crying for anyway. My friends would even often scold me of loving toooooo muccchhhhh!!!! and otherwise ending up so torn. But, I just can’t help it! When I love, I tend to give all that I could…so that at the end, no one could ever blame me that I didn’t give enough. I let myself get hurt…I know a lot of people out there would think of it as stupidity. But you know what, those who think of it that way…probably had never really loved at all, or perhaps, never felt what real love is – the selfless love that is.
I know you’d say, “O c’mon! quit the crap! Stop this nonsensical talk. No one ever loves selflessly! That’s not even possible!”
Selfless love is not really giving your entire self…a matter of unrequited love, but letting yourself be freed from too much expectations that you will be loved back by the person whom you choose to love. That you should be loved back. Because there never really is assurance of it. Only the solace from the reality that:
Love is not because but inspite of.
If you are really meant for each other..time will come, if God permits it, no matter what happens…you’ll end up to be together! Happy in each other’s arms…
Here’s what I’ve learned in my crazy quest to find love:
1. You don’t set your standards for the ideal person whom you’re going to spend life with; your standards adjust to what qualities your significant other posses.
2. Love is blind, but more often than not do people mistake that it is “us” that are blinded…well, it’s half true. Humans are not really blind when it comes to love. They actually see the truth, the realities but they prefer not to see nor mind. Because such realities bite. But what we do not know is that the truth only hurts when you choose not to empty your heart of self-denials.
3. Small fights are healthy among couples. In that way, you know what each other think.
4. Jealousy is not even a way to show that you love a person and that you care. Well, that’s a common misconception. Jealousy, for me, is having all these “insecurities”, lack of trust and rather an act of selfishness.
5. Understanding is the main ingredient of a fruitful relationship and yet the hardest one to earn.
6. Mr./Ms. Perfect does not necessarily mean Mr./Ms. Right.
***TO YOU:
… I want to thank you…for teaching me of all the lessons I need to learn, so the next time I’ll fall in love again…it’ll be just about perfect. I love you but…goodbye. I’ll never forget though the years we’ve spent together and the moments of us that you’ve given me that I’ll surely treasure forever. I know I wouldn’t forget you…that’s not possible but, what I hope to forget is that I ever get hurt from loving so much. You’ll remain one of the sweetest pieces of puzzle completing my life…*** -
Here i go again... what was i thinking??
IF
by moonlight butterfly
I still remember the time when we were together…
The time when I was just right beside you
And I get to look straight into your eyes
Those times when we will laugh together
And time seems to come into a stop
And we never realized that we are still in this world
But some place where everything was great
I can’t forget the moments we had together
The songs we sang together
The people who doubted us…and made us stronger
I can’t even recall a single moment that we quarrel
And that we lose faith in each other
But then…
Why did it have to end so soon?
The wonderful times…
And now I don’t know what to do.
I hated the thought of losing you
And such thought didn’t even cross my mind
But now, you’re gone
And I was too late to beg you not to leave
I was too late to show you how I really feel
I was too scared that I overlooked the fact that…
We could have made it through
If I had only been brave enough
To express my emotions
Such details you had long awaited from me
Now…
I am here stuck with all these feelings of regrets
Loneliness…and despair
If only I had been strong…