I hope it is just as easy as saying
“I want you”
And you’ll return a smile for me
I wish it is just as easy as saying
“I need you”
Then you’ll never have to leave
And how I wish it is just as easy to say
“I love you”
So you’ll love me too…
But I am wrong.
What do you want me to do?
Do I just have to get over you?
Then quit messing around!
Release my hands and let me go
Can’t you understand?
There’s no more tears left in me to flow…
I want to be numb
And I want to be happy…
I hope it is just as easy as thinking of that!
But never had things gone my way
Am I just the one making things so complicated?
I wish I never had to meet you
So I wouldn’t long to keep you
And beg you to stay…
Now that everything’s not just as easy to say.

- moonlight butterfly

Just when I thought I was through it all

One move from you and again I’ll fall

To think that I was over you

Darn, how I was wrong

One look and I freeze

One whisper and I grow weak

How can I not close my world from you completely?

And yet how can I make you see?

One knock and I let you through

One plea and I begin to tremble

One smile and I start to cry

One touch and I wonder why

Funny how hard you promised forever

And how easily you broke my heart

One hug and I’ll break my bones

One kiss and I could forget everything else…

For there is only one soul

It’s you

…who can break and mend my heart like new.

- moonlight butterfly

It’s over
I just did what I think is best
And this is what he wanted
How come I’m not happy?

I packed his things and he left
Yet, he never looked back
I wonder where the tears come from
Why am I not happy?

I let him go
I set him free
And this is what he wanted
How can I be happy?

Walking back home
There’s only one pair of footsteps
Shall I turn to where he is going?
And then would I be happy?

I think I did what’s best
Stab of pain crushed me into pieces
Knowing he will never come back
And I’ll no longer be happy…

Why didn’t he ask?
Why didn’t he care?
And he never tried to get things back
How I hope to be happy…

Now I know I won’t
For having him is what happiness means to me
If I asked him not to leave, will he stay?
‘Coz how I wanted to be happy.

- moonlight butterfly

Whenever I watch this little cat climb down the stairs, there’s always a feeling of joy that comes over me. Its fur is colored white and gray, and it has this very gentle look on its face. But as delicate as it may appear, it’s so hostile that whenever I’ll approach it, it immediately run away. So there…it just comes in our house whenever it wants to. My mom and I decided to tame it by offering it food so every lunch and dinner it comes inside our house but all our attempts failed. We still don’t get to own the cute little pussycin, it always flee.

And I wonder…how in real life it had always seemed that way. Sometimes we long to keep those things that we cannot and can never have…and that’s why we always get hurt. Like in taming our hostile visitor, sometimes, you cannot push someone to stay for good when he or she is not meant to be a permanent part of your life. People come and go into our lives but we never know who stays for real.

Is it our fault?…for not knowing how to take care of them when they’re still there? Or is it not just meant to be? But then again, we don’t even have the slightest idea that they will ever leave. We are so comfortable that they will remain and will stay just right there when we need them. Another problem is, we don’t know how to let go…once they’ve already become a special part of our lives. But the question is, do we really have to let go?

Sometimes I ask myself why I still have to meet people who will just leave me at the end…now that I’ve learned to cling on them for I have found the comfort and the security in them. Then I realized that one should not worry about what he or she is going to do once people step out of his/her world, but it is a matter of knowing how to keep them while they’re still there…while chances are still there for you to hold them tight so they would never have to leave.

Love is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it flees. Just spread your palms and it will land when it needs to rest…

Exactly like what the quote says, we don’t really have to be pressured with keeping people in our lives. One must realize that if you want someone to stay, give him/her room to breathe.

They say, destiny chooses who comes into our lives but it is the heart that decides who stays inside. But what if the one our heart chose and wished to stay is not really meant for the keeping? It’s quite devastating, yes, but like what has been said before…wait.

Patience is indeed a virtue. Once you learn to wait, you’ll figure out soon what he/she really meant in your life.

What if I wait and nothing happens still?

Waiting and anticipating are two exact opposite things. While waiting, you can get on with your life, do what you usually do, study etc…when you anticipate, it’s like a part of you is dwelling with false hopes.

Don’t anticipate for the clouds to pour snow…

Wait if there will be a snowfall.

Don’t anticipate for the water to run dry…

Wait until it runs dry.

…don’t anticipate for his/her return, just wait if he/she will return…and that’s when you will know that he/she have realized that there was something he/she left on his/her way that was a great part of himself/herself…you!

But what if such ideal scenario doesn’t happen?

Then it really is not meant to be. When something is not meant to be…no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try…it never will. It is the time then to finally let go.

Why do we always long for the things we can never have and are not even meant for us that we get frustrated even? It is because… why would you wish to get hold of something you already possess?

Yes, that is life…a series of roads full of complexities and questions, and we never stop living until we figure out all the answers.