The reason why people often find dissatisfaction with life is because they never are contented with themselves and how their life is going about. Where do we derive this discontentment? It’s because we are constantly struggling for perfection and at the same time, comparing ourselves with other people that’s why we only get frustrated because there would always be that someone who is prettier, smarter and much better than us. That is, if we believe so. But just like what the quote says, it is on how we regard ourselves that we derive the true definition of our personality. If we think we are inferior and unable to do anything nice, then the tendency is for us to live on with the belief that we are ordinary and that we are just a nobody. A thing called, “self-fulfilling prophecy.” But once we begin to have a high regard to ourselves, we discover our assets and as well as our limitations. We realize then that we are still different from other people. God made us all, though similar in general appearance as human beings, still unique in our own individual ways. There are things that we are only able to do and of which other people might find it difficult to do. It is because each and one of us has a unique shape that God has given us which means that no one else can play our role in this so-called “theater” of life for everything fits into one thing and another. Everyone has his own place. We just have to remember always that, though we may look simple, but to God, we are more than wonderful.

I hope it is just as easy as saying
“I want you”
And you’ll return a smile for me
I wish it is just as easy as saying
“I need you”
Then you’ll never have to leave
And how I wish it is just as easy to say
“I love you”
So you’ll love me too…
But I am wrong.
What do you want me to do?
Do I just have to get over you?
Then quit messing around!
Release my hands and let me go
Can’t you understand?
There’s no more tears left in me to flow…
I want to be numb
And I want to be happy…
I hope it is just as easy as thinking of that!
But never had things gone my way
Am I just the one making things so complicated?
I wish I never had to meet you
So I wouldn’t long to keep you
And beg you to stay…
Now that everything’s not just as easy to say.

- moonlight butterfly

It’s over
I just did what I think is best
And this is what he wanted
How come I’m not happy?

I packed his things and he left
Yet, he never looked back
I wonder where the tears come from
Why am I not happy?

I let him go
I set him free
And this is what he wanted
How can I be happy?

Walking back home
There’s only one pair of footsteps
Shall I turn to where he is going?
And then would I be happy?

I think I did what’s best
Stab of pain crushed me into pieces
Knowing he will never come back
And I’ll no longer be happy…

Why didn’t he ask?
Why didn’t he care?
And he never tried to get things back
How I hope to be happy…

Now I know I won’t
For having him is what happiness means to me
If I asked him not to leave, will he stay?
‘Coz how I wanted to be happy.

- moonlight butterfly

I was riding my way home in a bus when all these mellow music kept playing on and on and on…

I was so desperately depressed….and sad…and tormented…

I would constantly ask God why I still can’t forget him and move on if he’s not for me after all, but then I’d hear Him speak from the back of my mind saying… “You have learned a valuable lesson dear child, but it is time for you now to go through your own life. Stop dwelling on the past for you are closing your heart to the person I have really sent for you after all…”
How I wish it is that easy to do…who am I kidding? If it was, I could have done it a long time ago… but here I am, thinking of the what-could-have-beens and stuck with a bunch of what-ifs……

I have long wanted to let go…but I so fear that by letting go of the rope of the past…I might just end up falling in a deeper, much colder and darker well…or hole…or a scary pit of which I would never know escape. Yes, I don’t know what trust is anymore…even to trust my own self is as well a hard thing for me to do.

Meanwhile, I’ve been receiving this bunch of “consistent” yet strange phone calls for like almost…five months already. The phone will ring twice or thrice and before I could even pick it up to answer…the line dies. Sometimes, I match up to his timing…I had raised the mouth piece but…gosh, he would never speak up! He’s just there…listening to my voice…probably half bursting into laughter for my silliness. He’s like that for so long, like everyday…and he does it 2 or 3 times a day…in similar fashion! I don’t know what his problem is…hmm…. I’m already suspecting that it is someone I know…I guess. But why won’t he talk??? Only a few people know my number so…who could it be?

Sometimes I wish that…it was him. But….nah! Silly thought, why would he even bother.

One thing is just clear to me right now…I miss him. I miss him sooooo muchhhhh!!!! It kills me. I know I’ll never love this much again…not when I have been loving him this much still. I even wonder for sometimes…what would happen if we see each other again? Will there be a difference? What would he feel? How would I feel? Will I feel the same kind of feeling I had for him before?…would I realize then that he’s not for me after all or would the feeling only grow stronger?

Perhaps the reason why I can’t give my heart yet to somebody else, to the many of guys out there waiting for me…is because until this very moment, I’m still holding on. I’m still waiting for him…somehow. I know it’s not good but…I have nothing else to do. I wouldn’t want to commit to someone whom I am not sure about my feelings yet. I would only hurt him…and that of all, is the least thing I would want to do…and that I would never even want to do.

I just want “him”, the only person I love, to be happy now…somehow, that’s all that I always pray for. Hey, maybe he’s happy now. It was only this foolish heart of mine that is so perplexed and torn. And yet, he’d always remain a special part of me…something that makes my life complete.

Rumor has it and it was told that the bible foretold it that the next pope is an antichrist… the issue has been circulating around the world….

Who knows whether or not it’s true..?

I don’t believe it…neither do I believe in it.

It’s because the world “antichrist” itself has been so misconceived by people nowadays. Or it’s because lesser number of people are reading the bible now.

Antichrist refers to something against God…..probably the devil itself. We wouldn’t see one with horns and a tail (well, not literally)…..and where the world speaks of its evilness. The devil has the ability to imitate everything good that God has created. Hmm….scary huh? Yes it’s true. That’s why a lot of people are being mislead and confused…
A false prophet is an antichrist. Fortune tellers and statues of saints are too…
“Statues of saints??”, you ask.
Well, anything that deviates our attention to God is a form of antichrist.
So about the issue…
The next pope is an antichrist?
There’s a way to change that claim…
If in his goodness we become blinded that we believe that he’s the one who give us the miracles and not God, that he’s the one who heals, gives comfort and unites people…and if we treat him like almost a god, even more than how we praise the Holy Mighty One…then he in that case he becomes a figure of antichrist and that we are commiting the biggest sin there is!

Remember the first commandment:
“I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me.”

The reason why we are lost now is because we abandon God on our way. We always think that we could make it alone. God will help us through, if we just don’t fail to seek for his assistance; amidst the perplexities and struggles we face in our everyday lives. Strengthen your faith in God….the God Almighty…the only true God there is…it’s our only salvation. For He will provide us the only truth.

“The kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you; not in buildings of stones or statues of marbles. In strip of wood, seek and you shall find Me.”

What the heck is an OT???

This is what I told my self before having any knowledge of it...

At first, when I was still writing down the course I would like to enroll in college. My first choice was of course, the ever in-demand "BS Nursing"... yeah, just because of "parents-told-me-to" thing...well, I didn't personally like it. What I really wanted to take in the first place was electronics and communications engineering...or something which has to do with interior designing stuff...but I bummed! Instead, I wrote nursing as a first choice...and....BS Occupational Therapy as my second choice in the most prestigious premier state University of the Philippines. Why? My friend told me it's good... and because my sister needs special care...from an OT that is, so I wanted to help her...hopefully...someday. (Though it was just my second reason at first)

Occupational Therapy is a field ...uhm... let's just define it this way.

These are some unique definitions of OT that I came across in the net:
"A physical therapist will teach you how to walk; an occupational therapist will teach you how to dance"

"How many OT does it talk to light a bulb? None. The occupational therapist will teach the bulb to light itself"

And the ever famous proverb that is most apt to define what an OT does:
"Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day; Teach a man how to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime"

Pretty inspirational stuffs huh? Why am I telling this to you? Well, why don’t you ask yourself first... why are you reading my post anyway? But since you're reading it already... Im not in the position to give you the correct definition of an OT nor am I a professional in this kind of field... oh yes! You heard it right; I enjoy being an OT now!!!!!! Unbelievable? he he...it’s because OT is the most wonderful job there is!!! Let me tell you bout my past experience so you'll understand.=)



On the 6th of April 2005, we were asked to do this observation for an OT clinic as a pre-requisite for a major subject we are going to take in our second year in college that will last for about five days. At first, I was reluctant about it…I thought it would be boring and all but...it was fun! It was rather great!

My first observation was with this little girl…she has ADL (im not sure) and she was all this dizzy all the time as the therapist guides her and teach her how to grip a spoon, put the food on her mouth and chew it…yes, you read it right, step-by-step. I was pretty amazed by how patient these people (the therapists) are, despite the children’s whining, throwing everything their hands got to touch, crying biting, and occasional uncooperativeness…he/she remains patient and loving but firm.

The second one is with this little kudos having an ongoing toddler’s class or something. They said it boosts their socialization skill and participation as a group. But there is this one child that the instant he entered the room…he started crying and crying that he’s unstoppable! So the other kids go on crying too. And when I gazed outside to see the parents peering through the glass door, some of them were crying as they watch their little ones…I was deeply touched. It was so much a burden for the parents to see their child suffering; unaware of the reality they’ve been going about. And during this pre-play session that we got to participate in and even played with the kids…there is this one child that I could never forget. The therapist told us that he (the kido) whenever roams around the mall or somewhere with his parents…he’d go to the prettiest girl on that place and would hold her hands, and he especially like kissing people. And all the while, during the entire session, he would always turn to his back (where I was) and would blow kisses at me. Or he would climb down his armchair and would kiss my cheeks. So sweet. He even calls himself, the “kissing bandit”. And before the therapy session ends, he told me, “go to my house, play with my toys”. Awwww….sweet! little angel.=)
And everyday, during our observations, I’ve witnessed a lot of activities and kinds of therapies the “teachers” employs to these little kids. Mostly concerns the child’s Sensory Integration, Motor Planning and Socialization Skills. Oh, heck! I’ll learn more about that in my second and third year.Ü and I think, now, I’m already ahead with my classmates! Coz I’ve already learned a lot of things about what an OT is through this observation thing…



When you’re handling a child…no matter how smarty-pants you are back in college with all these terms you memorized in your major subjects…it is less likely useful. I mean, I’m not saying that it won’t matter….it will. It’s just that, no matter how much you know about occupational therapy, still, it’s different strokes, for different folks, in this case, when it comes to the patients. Though special children deserve special care, what you are trying to impose upon them is a world like that of normal children. So you must learn how to establish rapport, when to be gentle and when to be strict. You shouldn’t let the child control you that you’ll give in to his demands so he’ll follow you…you have to show him who’s the boss. I’m not saying it’s about building tyranny or whatsoever over the kids, it’s a matter of teaching them and making them realize that not all the time they’d get what they want. They should learn how to wait for their turn, wait for the instructions of their teachers or parents before doing anything, be independent and learn how to listen and pay attention. And this goes to “normal” kids as well.

This 5-day observation changed my life entirely…

I finally realized that I’m on the right track all along. I wanted to be an OT someday. Not because of the extra high salary…of course I admit, it was a part of it. More importantly, I want to help these young people. I want to be a part of their lives. I admire the OTs who never seems to get tired of molding the lives of these young and innocent children that are “uniquely” different that makes them apart from the rest yet special and indeed, smart individuals who are also a part of this world. I hope that people wouldn’t look down on them (special kids with CP, ADHD, DS etc.) anymore. That they’d think they are hopeless because of their sickness and that they are burdens of the community. You know what I think about the people who think this way? They are the real hopeless ones. They are the real burdens of the community. Because though normal, they couldn’t be effective individuals in their own ways. Heck, they’re just wasting their lives!

Being an OT entails so much responsibility. Coz you are like the second parent of your patients. The parents would trust you with their little ones and these little “special” ones give you the same amount of trust and love as well. So an OT, is not just a course mastered, it’s a matter of commitment and dedication. An OT is not made; he is born. And he’s probably the most compassionate being there is. How I wish I could be a good OT someday. I want my patients to love me too, I just love children and I love seeing those happy faces staring back at me.

“Choose a job that you love and you never work for a day”

That’s what we should always bear in mind. So we’ll never regret anything at the end. And I assure you, you wouldn’t enjoy being an OT if you don’t love it and just go for the money.

And you know the best part of it…? YOU GET ALL THE HUGS AND KISSES THAT YOU WANT! Well, from the kids, that is.=)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading my article as much as I enjoyed typing it. Ta ta for now! (~^.^~)

Love, love, love…OMG!

What is love? I’m sure a lot of us have encountered this question many times already, most especially when our friends would ask us to write on their slumbooks, autographs or whatever you call it, surveys what have you.

The truth is, there is really not a concrete meaning or even explanation for the word love because love is indefinable. Love is the greatest thing on earth because it’s the greatest gift we’ve received from God. More often than not we define love by the feeling we feel for a particular someone of the opposite sex but that is only one classification of love. There are certain types of love like love for god, love for your friends, love for your family, love for country, a mother’s love to her child, love for nature et cetera et cetera. But we will focus more on the most complicated type of love; the one we often refer to as love…a love for someone of the opposite sex.

When do we know that we’ve fallen in love? Well, like everyone else’s, you just know it when you feel it. You really can’t tell when cupid’s arrow struck you but it’s truly a different feeling. Yet, most of us instantly jump into conclusion and that’s the reason why we often mistaken love from infatuation not knowing that love is not hurried, it is rather developed. There is no even such a thing as “love at first sight”, now that’s infatuation only and as you grow to know each other more day by day…that is the start of what we call “love”.

*Just always remember, when it’s stronger – it’s love. When it’s selfless – it’s love. When it’s more of acceptance and sacrifices – it’s love. When it’s more of opening you up to reality – it’s love. When it’s more of giving than receiving – it’s love. And most important of all, if it lasts longer which makes it hard to forget amidst the pain – it’s love.

>>>to read more...check out my file "love" on the sidelist

The Roots of Love
by moonlight butterfly


Ever since I was that small
You’ve always been the roots for me
You taught me how to stand upright
That’s why I’ve always held on you tight

And while I grow up you become
The guiding light that shows the way
And when I get lost in the woods
You would grab my arms and lead me through

Before, I never even realized you were there
I thought that everyone was born to have the likes of you
The uncountable times of sacrifices
The unconditional love I took for granted

And now I know how important you are
As I see the creases on your face
A product of never-ending years of hard work
And smile to hide the pain

My only wish for you my parents
That you be all in good health
So you would never have to leave me
Through my ups and downs you will see me

I have always hoped for happiness
For good things I could bestow upon you
But I realized then there’s not a thing
That could replace your magical deeds

For the years to come I’ll then be your roots
Not to help you stand upright but
To hold on, for you had withstood the odds
And I want you still to carry on.

Time to Let Go
by moonlight butterfly


Time goes by
and I search for the answers
I can hardly find the reasons why…
It had to be this way
When after all those years of loving you
and losing you…
It is still that same you
Still you, that remains inside my heart
I don’t want to cry
I hated the idea
But moment by moment
As thoughts of you linger in my mind
Teardrops fall inevitably
Inexplicably, unbearably
I told myself many times not to love you
Or ever wonder if you did feel that way too
All this time you are almost mine
And now…
Where are you?
Now that I need you
Now that I long for your touch
Your smile that brings the sun up after the rain
How could I ever wake up into the reality?
How could I possibly end up all this?
Have I told you I saw you again?
But it was someone else really
Have I told you how glad I was during our talk recently?
When in fact, alone, it is just I
Hanging on the idea that you
Somehow, someday…
Would come back and bring back the broken pieces of me…
I Miss You.

well....this is it! haha! the day I signed in for an online blog. I won't start babbling about stuffs today coz nothing new is really happening, nothing exciting that is. The vacation is driving me nuts! why? Coz Im bored all day without nothing to do...

Oh well.. I guess I did some things after all...

I've finished my latest short story entitled, "Forsythia", it's basically about a lady tramp meeting a total stranger one dreary evening and then, whoops!, the magic of love... hmm, coz Im that type of writer... so hopeless romantic! So far I've already have a total of 8 english short stories, titles are as follows:
The Call of the Sea
Hourglass
Wint'ry Heart
Solemn Whisper
A Trip to your Heart
Vivid Conversation
Bittersweet Refrain
and the latest...Forsythia

well, I put a little twist in the 2 latest stories. The "Bittersweet Refrain" is romance in genre though I put a little touch of mystery while Forsythia is so out of this world love story, you will say.

Anyways, if you want to check them out, you'd probably be visiting my site:

::MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY::
What else did happen to me...hmm...

I guess the "moonlight butterfly" me just found the flower of her dreams.¤¤¤

(~^.^~)